


Til Death Do Us Part

by sassenachwriter



Category: Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - The Proposal Fusion, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-08-28 15:28:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16726026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassenachwriter/pseuds/sassenachwriter
Summary: Jamie and Claire spend time in Lallybroch after surprising everyone-including themselves- with their engagement. The Proposal inspired.





	1. The Proposal

Jamie was getting ready for work, late as always. After snoozing his alarm repeatedly, a result of the long night he spent writing his book, and taking a wee shower, he missed his bus for work. He then had to take the one that always made him arrive ten minutes late.

Fortunately, his boss Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp rarely came that early, or when she did, it was because she had spent the night reading manuscripts. And he knew that because as the loyal assistant he was, when Claire stayed at night, he did as well.

He ran quickly into the elevator, sweat dripping from his forehead. Jamie ran a hand under a few red curls to wipe it off, praying Claire wouldn’t notice how late he was. 

He wasn’t afraid of her, of course not. But she was the most terrifying woman he had ever met in his life. Not only was she incredibly gorgeous, she knew she was and knew how to use people to get what she wanted. Jamie’s hope of ever becoming an editor and a published novelistl, all of this she could turn to dust just by clicking her fingers. 

He ran into the office on the 17th floor and met Joe Abernathy, his only friend here in Boston. ‘‘Is she here?’’ Jamie asked, worried.

‘‘She is.’’ Jamie’s heart skipped a beat when he heard Claire’s voice answer. He turned to see her looking at him from the doorframe of her office, her curls wilder than usual around her face, indicating that she had probably spent the night in her office, but he hadn’t been needed. Good. ‘‘You’re late, Fraser.’’

‘‘I know. I’m sorry. My alarm -’’

‘‘I’m not interested in your excuses.’’

 

He nodded, feeling his cheeks turn pink. God he despised this woman.

He followed her to her office and put a cup of coffee from Starbucks on her desk. “Frank Randall called to confirm the appointment at ten. Uh, the boss wants to see you, something about your visa… and did you read the manuscript I proposed to you?”

“You mean the one that you wrote?”

Jamie nodded, his cheeks slightly pink. 

“I read a few lines. It’s alright. Go back to work and be ready for the appointment with Frank.”

Walking to his desk, he took his coat off and put it on the back of his chair. There was a pile of paperwork waiting for him, letting him know he was probably going to stay until late that night. His phone buzzed in the pocket of his coat and he answered it. ‘‘Jenny, how are you?’’ He said in a whisper. He was allowed to speak on the phone -technically- but Claire had spent the night working, so she probably was less tolerant than usual. Which meant not much.

‘‘I hope yer comin’ to Grandma’s birthday.’’ She said, not asking how he was doing. Their grandmother, Anne Grant MacKenzie was turning 90 and Jenny and his mother were planning a big party for her. They were still waiting for Jamie’s confirmation because the poor lad didn’t know when he could take his first week off for the first time in five years. 

‘‘I don’t know yet, Jenny. I told ye I was going to call when I have a confirmation.’’ Jamie, who had been living in Boston for more than fifteen years now didn’t really talk with a thick scottish accent, save when he was talking to his family or other scots. 

‘‘Ask her, for Christ’s sake! I ken yer scared of your boss, but -’’

‘‘I asked her, but she didna answer me!’’

‘‘Jamie!’’ Came the loud British voice of his boss. 

Surprised, Jamie dropped his phone on the desk and saw Claire walk towards him, another pile of folders in hands.

‘‘I’ll call ye back!’’ He told Jenny before hanging up before even hearing an answer from her. ‘‘Yes?’’

‘‘Get ready. We are going to meet Frank.’’ 

“Where is that?” Jamie asked, putting his coat on again. 

“Boston.” Claire said, as usual, not giving him any indication on how he needed to prepare for when they were going to meet people.

They drove in silence around town to go meet this person who happened to be a man Claire knew who wanted to have his book published. As he drove, Jamie couldn’t help but think about her life. When she wasn’t in the office, his colleagues would make stories about the reason why she was so hard with people and what kind of men she took to her place at night. Even if he could hardly stand her, Jamie didn’t find these stories funny. Clearly, something was missing inside her for her to act like that with them. Stopping at a red light, Jamie looked at her. She was reading some papers on her lap, her curls flying around her head. The car behind them honked, surprising Jamie and then he continued driving.

Frank Randall was a history professor who wrote books about the Jacobite Rebellions and the American Revolution. Jamie didn’t know what kind of relationship Claire had with him, but it was as uncomfortable for them as it was for him. They spent hours talking to him about his books and Claire left with the manuscript. 

When they got back to the publishing house, the big boss was waiting for Claire. Jamie frowned, but she told him to go back to work. He did as he was told and started to type on his computer. Time passed and Claire was still not back from meeting with the man, making him not only anxious about what was being said about her visa behind those closed doors, but also making him terribly curious. 

After almost thirty minutes, he got up, file in hand and walked to the office, entering without even knocking. The boss, another man in suit and Claire turned to look at him. ‘‘Oh! Sorry, I didn’t know you were still engaged in conversation.’’

He met Claire’s stare. The corner of her mouth twitched for a moment, then she turned back to the men. 

‘‘Actually… There’s something I kept hidden from you, Ron, but Jamie and I are engaged.’’ She told them.

Jamie frowned, not sure he had understood the right thing.

‘‘I’m sorry?’’ The three men in the room asked.

‘‘Yes.’’ She smiled and got up to take him by the arm. ‘‘Tell them, darling.’’ She said sitting him down on the chair besides her.

‘‘What?’’ Jamie asked, confused. She discreetly kicked his ankle, making him look into her eyes. He swallowed, feeling his cheeks turn red under the eyes of the three of them. 

‘‘Tell them the truth. That we are getting married.’’ Then he saw it. In her eyes were burning flames. He knew if he didn’t do as she told, he could say goodbye to his dreams of ever becoming a published writer.

‘‘Uh… Yes…’’ He said, hesitantly, looking from Claire to the men, and then back to Claire. ‘‘We are engaged.’’ The words almost made him burst into laughter.

‘‘For real?’’ Ron asked, rather skeptically. 

‘‘Yes. We are engaged. Jamie is an american citizen, if I marry him, you can’t kick me out!’’ Claire said with a british accent thicker than usual. 

‘‘If you really are engaged, of course.’’

‘‘Aye! We are. She is the love of my life.’’ Jamie smiled, showing off his teeth. 

***

They were both sitting in front of an immigrant agent, this time, in his office.

‘‘Alright, well… To make sure of that, you will be asked questions about each other separately. If the answers don’t match, Claire, you will be deported back to England and you,’’ he said pointing at Jamie, ‘‘you will be convicted of a felony punishable by a $250,000 fine and five years in prison.’’ 

Jamie swallowed, a thin layer of sweat starting to form on his brow. 

‘‘Are you sure you still want to do this, Jamie?’’ The man asked him with a smirk.

He nodded weakly, feeling the pressure of Claire’s foot on his in warning. ‘‘Aye.’’

‘‘So if we ask the people from work, they will agree that you two are together?’’

‘‘No!’’ Claire said, trying to look scandalized. ‘‘There’s a policy for relationships between… colleagues.’’

‘‘Yes,’’ Jamie added, encouragingly. ‘‘And we couldn’t really tell them about us because of my promotion. To make me an editor.’’ He looked at Claire with a smirk and took her hand in his. He felt her fight back, but she let go, trying to look casual.

‘‘Is that true?’’ The agent asked Claire.

‘‘Yes.’’

He frowned, looking from the future bride to her future husband. ‘‘And do your parents know about that?’’

‘‘My parents are dead, so… Jamie is the only family I have. But Jamie has a big family… In fact, we are going to see them next week… For Jamie’s grandma’s birthday.’’

‘‘Really?’’ Jamie and the agent asked together. 

‘‘Where?’’ The agent lifted his eyebrow, crossing his arms on his chest.

Claire cheeks turned slightly pink and she looked up at Jamie for help.

‘‘We are going to my hometown.’’ he smiled proudly. ‘‘In Lallybroch. Scotland.’’

Claire looked at Jamie, her mouth half dropping. 

When they walked out of the building, Claire smacked him on the back. ‘‘What the hell? A promotion?’’ She exclaimed.

He turned around with a smirk. ‘‘I don’t think it’s even half of what you owe me to marry you.’’ 

She made an insulted chuckle. ‘‘Alright. And Scotland! For Christ’s sake I thought your family was from Nova Scotia.’’

‘‘We both know you don’t really listen when I talk.’’ He started to walk but she ran after him.

‘‘I’m not promoting you! I can’t afford that!’’

‘‘Then I’m not marrying you.’’ He said simply. 

He could see in her eyes that she was angry, probably of not being the one in control of the situation. “Jamie! You don’t have other choice!”

“I have. I can resign.”

“No, Jamie! Please don’t. If you do, all those five years you spent working for me will be worth nothing.”

“Alright.” He sighed, then looked up at her with a smirk. “ I have another request. If I’m to marry you, I want you to do something for me.’’

‘‘What now?’’ She rolled her eyes.

‘‘Propose to me,’’ he cocked a brow, hiding his smile. 

Grunting, she crossed her arms on her chest. ‘‘Will you marry me?’’ She said, not looking at him.

‘‘Nope.’’ He chuckled and started to walk. 

‘‘Wait!!’ She ran after him and stopped him with her hands on his arms. ‘‘James Fraser.... Will you marry me?’’ She said, her cheeks red in shame.

‘‘On your knees.’’

‘‘What?’’ She looked around to the crowd of people from downtown Boston, but she reluctantly did it. ‘‘James Fraser, will you marry me?’’ 

He looked down at her, arms crossed and smiled. ‘‘Aye.’’ And he started to walk back to the office, leaving her on her knees in the middle of the pavement.

*** 

The following night, they were sitting side by side on the plane. Jamie couldn’t help but grin like a child at the idea of going home. Claire came back from the toilet and sat next to him by the window. ‘‘When was the last time you’ve been home?’’ She asked him. 

‘‘Ten years ago.’’ He whispered, not to wake anyone in the plane sleeping safe and sound. 

‘‘You must be happy to be going back.’’

‘‘Aye.’’ He smiled and then showed her a notebook with a list of questions the agent was going to ask them when they come back. “You should ask me some. I know all the answers for you, but you don’t know about me. ”

Claire frowned. “No, you don’t.” She took the notebook from his hands and searched a question to ask him. “What’s my favourite wine?”

“You don’t like wine. You can manage a glass of rosé at a reception, but that’s all.”

Nodding, she looked back into the questions. “On what side of bed do I sleep?”

Jamie thought for a little while before answering. “In the middle, if I had to guess.”

“That’s correct.” She eyed the questions and he saw her cheeks turn red as she read one. 

“What?” He asked, the corner of his mouth curling up. 

“Nothing.” She closed the book and they stayed in silence for a moment, until Claire finally fell asleep, her head on his shoulder for the rest of the flight.


	2. Bride to Be

Jamie and Claire traveled from Inverness to Lallybroch in silence, both anxious about the meeting with his family. ‘‘They’re nice people,’’ Jamie said, both hands grabbing the wheel so hard his knuckles were white.

A little more than half an hour later, Jamie parked the car in front of the old castle. Claire’s eyes went wide when she saw the ancient house. ‘‘It’s beautiful, isn’t it?’’ He smiled proudly, getting out of the car. ‘‘It was my ancestor who built it for his wife. It’s been in my family for more than three hundred years.’’

‘‘It’s really nice and… old.’’ Claire smiled, taking her bag from the back of the car. They walked to the house when a tall, red headed woman opened the door with a bright smile. ‘‘There ye are, my sweet lad!’’ She ran to Jamie who dropped his bag on the ground to hug his mother in a long embrace. ‘‘It’s been so long.’’ She said, kissing his cheek. ‘‘Look at ye… Ye are so handsome… You look well!’’

‘‘Ye look well too, Mam.’’ Jamie said, his eyes watering at the sight of his mother for the first time in almost five years, the one and only time she had come to Boston to see him. 

Ellen MacKenzie Fraser looked at Claire, a smile on her face. ‘‘Jenny told me ye were bringing a lass… I didn’t know you were seeing someone.’’

Jamie’s cheeks turned pink as he introduced her to his mother. ‘‘Aye, ‘tis Claire Beauchamp… I told ye about her… We work together.’’

‘‘Yer boss?’’ Ellen lifted a red eyebrow.

‘‘Aye.’’ Jamie said, looking at his feet. ‘‘We are engaged.’’ 

Ellen’s mouth fell open as she looked from Jamie to Claire, back to Jamie. ‘‘Yer marrying her?’’ Ellen asked, rather skeptical with some disdain in her voice. 

He looked up at Claire’s shameful face and couldn’t help but feel bad for her. ‘‘Aye.’’ Jamie smiled, searching for her eyes. 

‘‘Alright, then. If my lad is happy, I am happy. I’m Ellen MacKenzie Fraser.’’ She said in a warm voice, taking Claire’s hand in hers. ‘‘Jamie’s mother.’’

‘‘I’m enchanted to meet you.’’ 

Jamie thought he’d seen something cross Claire’s face. It only lasted a second, but he thought he saw longing when his mother warmingly took her hand. 

‘‘Let me show ye your room.’’ Ellen said, climbing the stairs to the house.

The room was decorated like it was still the 18th century, but with a certain touch of modernity. The blue patterned paper wall matched the wooden frame of the bed. There was a fireplace, next to it was a small bar with glasses for whisky. Voices where coming from downstairs, making Jamie nervous to go see his family for the first time in years, but also to present Claire to them. He put their bags on the chairs in front of the fireplace as she wandered around the room, looking at the family portraits on the wall.

‘‘You grew up in this house?’’ She asked him, her voice low.

‘‘Aye. I lived here ‘til I was ten.’’ Jamie said, unpacking his clothes. ‘‘Then I moved to the States wi’ my godfather.’’ 

‘‘Was this your room?’’ Claire sat on the bed, testing it.

‘‘Nah. This is the Laird’s room.’’ Jamie looked at her with a lopsided smile. ‘‘My room is at the other end of the hallway, but I think my Mam decided I’d sleep here when I told her I was coming wi’ ye.’’

‘‘Why?’’

 

He uncomfortably scratched the back of his neck. ‘‘Weel… My parents always said that this… Well… Lallybroch babies all have been made in this room, so…’’

‘‘Oh.’’ Claire jumped off the bed like she’d be pregnant just by sitting on it, her cheeks turning crimson red. ‘‘Well… There won’t be Lallybroch babies this week. Are you…’’

‘‘Aye. I’ll sleep on the floor. Dinna worry, I’m no’ really interested in sleeping wi’ ye. Even sleeping in the same room as ye…’’ He added, making her look hurt by his words. ‘‘I’ll sleep with an eye open, I dinna want ye to kill me in my sleep because of the promotion.’’ He joked, making her smile genuinely for the first time since they arrived.

‘‘Well… You can sleep with both eyes closed. If I kill you, I can’t marry you. I’ll wait ‘til we’re married and I can have all your money and insurance.’’ She joked, but still it left a cold, awkward silence between the two of them. ‘‘You don’t mind lying to your family? I mean… Your mother was so kind… I’m starting to think it was all a big mistake.’’

‘‘It’s alright, Claire. I’ll just tell them it didn’t work out, when we’re done with this.’’ He said, surprised to feel his throat tighten at the thought. A part of him, the part of him that had fallen for her the first time he saw her liked to believe that she was his in this masquerade. ‘‘We should go downstairs… They’re expecting us… We dinna want them to think we’re already trying out the Laird’s room magic.’’

***

Everybody was being so kind to Claire, making her feel both overwhelmed by this warm welcome and very awkward to be considered family by these people she didn’t know. 

Anne Grant MacKenzie was quite the character. Her hair was all white now, her back was starting to lean forward and she walked with a cane, nonetheless she was very healthy for her age. And most of all, she still had all her mind. 

‘‘I canna believe yer actually marrying her!’’ Brian Fraser exclaimed to his son in the kitchen. 

‘‘Last time I talked to ye, ye called her a vixen and now you’re all head over heels in love wi’ her? That’s weird.’’ Jenny added, crossing her arms on her chest.

‘‘I love her…’’ Jamie trailed off, almost convincing them. 

‘‘Maybe yer cock does,’’ Ian Murray came to support his wife, ‘‘but ye dinna like her. Ye’re scairt of her, ye can’t stand her and-’’

Everybody looked up when Claire walked into the kitchen, her empty glass in hand. ‘‘Claire,’’ Jamie smiled and went to her, awkwardly putting his hand on her shoulder. ‘‘My family was just telling me how much they were happy for us.’’ 

They all smiled at Claire who nodded, going to refill her glass. Once they had left the kitchen, Jamie walked to her. ‘‘Ye need to help me, here.’’

‘‘What do you think I’m doing? I’m talking to your weird cousin about his ex girlfriend who wanted him to wax his back.’’ 

Jamie chuckled, making her look at him with eyes like fire. ‘‘Who’s that? Rupert?’’

Ellen ran into the kitchen. ‘‘Come on, you two love birds. We’ll properly introduce you to the family!’’

She took each their hand and brought them to the living room where about thirty people were drinking and talking. ‘‘Everybody! I’d like you all to give Claire Beauchamp, Soon-to-be Fraser, a warm welcome to our family,’’ She said once she had all their attention. 

All the Frasers and MacKenzies clapped their hands, smiling to the couple who faked smiles and waved their hands awkwardly. ‘‘Jamie! Kiss yer lass for us!’’ Anne shouted from the couch, lifting her drink in the air. 

‘‘No, I-’’

Everybody started cheering, clicking on their glasses and encouraging the kiss.

‘‘Do it.’’ Claire turned to Jamie who awkwardly bent to chastely kiss her on the lips. 

‘‘Come on, Jamie! I ken you can do far better than that!’’ Ian shouted making everyone laugh.

‘‘I dinna want to… It’s Gran’s party and I…’’

‘‘Shut up, laddie and kiss yer lass properly!’’

Jamie shyly put his hand on Claire’s hip and bent to kiss her, lasting long enough to feel his entire body wake up to her touch, like if a bolt of lightning had hit him. The family all started to cheer, happy for the engaged couple who had just kissed for the very first time. 

***

Jamie was starting the fire in their room when Claire walked out of the connected bathroom, dressed in her silk pyjamas. When he heard her come in, Jamie looked up and couldn’t keep his eyes away from her. He could see just a wee sight of the valley between her breasts and her nipple standing hard underneath the fabric. She was wearing shorts, showing off her endless skinny legs. The sight made his insides melt. He thought he knew a great deal about her, after working closely for five years, but he had learned more about her since they left for Scotland than during all the years spent with her in Boston. Most of all, he liked the Claire he was discovering during this trip.

‘‘Ye’ll be cold, wearing pyjamas like that. I ken yer always cold, and it’s no’ verra hot in the night in Scotland. Especially in the Highlands.’’

‘‘I’ll be fine. I only wished you had told me we’d be sleeping here… together and not at the hotel.” She said, sitting on the bed and putting the covers around her body. 

‘‘If ye too cold during the night, I can come lie next to you.. If my back isn’t stuck from sleepin’ on the floor.’’ Jamie said getting up to lay under the covers he put on the floor, at the feet of the bed. 

‘‘I didn’t think your scottish accent was so strong.’’ Claire said, looking at him with a funny look. 

‘‘Well, it is always stronger when I’m around scots… Especially around my family.’’

Claire stayed quiet for a moment, looking at the flames dancing in the fireplace. ‘‘What’s planned for tomorrow?’’

‘‘Jenny said she wanted to go out wi’ ye in town to get to know ye. Wi’ my cousin from France, Louise.’’ Jamie said, lying down on his back with a short grunt.

‘‘I don’t think she likes me, your sister. In fact, most of your family, I feel, don’t like me.’’

 

‘‘Does it matter? I mean… We are no getting married out o’ love, it shouldn’t matter whether they do like ye or not. Ye’ll still become an American citizen at the end.’’ Jamie said, a bit drier than he wanted to. 

Claire lied back, looking at the shadows of the fire on the ceiling. It was getting late and she was tired after the long trip to Scotland and the party for Jamie’s grandmother. They had gone to bed before everyone, so she could still hear noises from downstairs. She didn’t mind though, it was a reassurance to feel that the house was still alive. 

‘‘You told them you hated me,’’ She said quietly. 

Jamie swallowed, closing his eyes, searching for something to say. She was still his boss, after all. ‘‘Well… I might have complained a wee bit about… The job.’’

She didn’t need to say anything to make him understand she was mad. 

‘‘I mean… I didna have any vacations in five years and you always make me work long hours and…’’

‘‘Well, you want to be an editor or not? Because that’s what an editor does. They work.’’

 

‘‘I ken that!’’ Jamie replied, starting to lose patience as well. ‘‘It’s just that… Ye treat me like shite. Ye never acknowledge anything I do. When I do something great, ye make me feel like it’s worth nothing and ye give me something else to do.’’

‘‘Well you’re not in kindergarten anymore, Jamie.’’

‘‘Ye dinna want to hear anything! We should sleep.,” he turned on his side, grunting slightly at the hard floor underneath him.

They stayed in silence for a while, but she was thinking so loud he knew she wasn’t asleep.

‘‘I do defend ye, ye ken?’’

‘‘What?’’

‘‘Everyone in the office is mean wi’ ye when yer no’ there. I always defend ye.’’

He heard her swallow and she didn’t say anything more until he fell asleep. 

***

It was Claire who heard Ellen’s knock on the door the morning after. She immediately woke up and tried to scream at Jamie, who was asleep on the floor in a whisper. Damn scot, she cursed and threw a pillow at him. He woke up suddenly, sitting up, his mop of red hair flying around his head. ‘‘What is it?’’

‘‘Your mother!’’

‘‘Can I come in?’’ Ellen asked behind the door.

‘‘Just a minute!’’ Claire shouted and Jamie ran with his pillow and covers to jump into bed next to her. She opened the sheets for him to climb underneath and snuggle against her. ‘‘What the hell is that?’’ She cried when her hip met his crotch area.

‘‘It’s the morning!’’ He said, the tip of his ears turning pink. 

‘‘Disgusting! Take it away!’’

‘‘Will ye please...’’ Jamie forced himself next to her and put his arm around her shoulder. ‘‘Come in!’’

Ellen entered the room with a plate full of breakfast; scones, bread, tea and orange juice. ‘‘Breakfast in bed for the fiancés.’’ She smiled, putting the plate on the table next to the bed.

‘‘Amazing! Thank you so much.’’ Claire forced an encouraging smile to Ellen. 

‘‘Thank ye, Mam.’’

She stood in front of the couple, looking at them with loving eyes, her hands closed in front of her heart. ‘‘Yer so beautiful to see.’’

Anne Grant MacKenzie came into the room, followed by Jenny Fraser. ‘‘Oh, God. The entire family?’’ Jamie said, running a hand on his face. 

‘‘We want you and Claire to get married here in Scotland,” Anne shouted happily.

They looked at each other, a little confused, still feeling dazed from sleep.

‘‘This weekend!’’ Anne added with a big smile. ‘‘It would be the perfect gift for my ninetieth birthday, to see my wee Jamie get married. And to such a beautiful lass as Claire.’’ She added toward the english editor. 

‘‘But… It’s your birthday…’’ Jamie said, trying to change their minds.

‘‘I’ve had many birthdays in my life. And like I said, it would be the greatest gift. Before I die.’’ She smirked.

‘‘Okay, then!’’ Jamie and Claire cheered up in unison. 

They were going to get married in Scotland, three days from now.


	3. Secrets and Lies

Jenny and Louise were already waiting for Claire in the car when the future Mrs. Fraser exited the house, the hood of her raincoat on her head.

They drove in silence all the way to Inverness. Even if she spent many years travelling around the world with her uncle when she was small, Claire had never been to Scotland and she had to admit that she absolutely loved it. It reminded her of England, in a way Boston didn’t, but it was so different and the air so fresh she thought she could stay here, hidden in the Highlands forever.

‘‘So, where are we going?’’ Claire asked from the backseat.

‘‘First we are going to the gym, I take a class of aerobic dance there and when Louise visits us, she likes to come as well. After, we’ll go grab a bite and spend some quality time together.’’ Jenny turned to smile at her, before turning back to the road.

‘‘Do you train, Claire?’’ Louise asked, looking behind her shoulder from the passenger’s seat.

‘‘I don’t really go to the gym, actually. I take walks sometimes…’’

She thought she saw Louise and Jenny exchange a funny look, which she didn’t like at all. Even if all Jamie’s family had welcomed Claire with joy and warmth, Jenny was cold with her and honestly, she made her feel like shit.

When they arrived, Jenny helped Claire preparing her step and weights. ‘‘I’ll go get them,’’ Louise smiled. ‘‘How heavy do you want them?’’

‘‘I’d say 3kg.’’ Jenny said with a cocky smile.

Claire, who was always competitive, couldn’t help but ask for heavier weights. ‘‘I can take 5.’’

‘‘Are you sure?’’ Jenny asked, getting up to take off her hoodie.

‘‘Yes.’’

Fifteen minutes later, Claire Beauchamp really wished she was dead. Her legs were weak and shaky and she was sweating like she was training in the flames of hell. Laoghaire, the person in charge on the class stopped the music and Claire turned to see that she was the only woman in the room who was trying to catch her breath.

‘‘Are you guys ready to begin?’’ Laoghaire asked encouragingly, taking a sip of water.

‘‘What? We haven’t started yet?’’ The future bride asked Louise who started to laugh.

‘‘Of course not, that was just the warming up!’’

‘‘Oh, God.’’ Claire whispered, going back to her step from the front of the class, where her bottle of water was.

She spent the next forty-five minutes sweating like a pig while Jenny and Louise barely had a drop on their foreheads. She didn’t know what they were trying to do, probably humiliate her or make fun of her after everything that Jamie had said about his boss, but she didn’t enjoy it one bit.

‘‘That felt so good!’’ Louise said, stretching her muscles as she sat in the car.

‘‘Yes! Did ye like it, Claire?’’ Jamie’s sister asked, looking at her in the mirror.

‘‘I did.’’ She lied, looking out by the window as they drove to the restaurant.

It was a charming little cafe by the River Ness where the air was filled with smells of espressos and grilled bread. They ordered sandwiches and homemade smoothies. ‘‘So! Jamie and you will get married this weekend! How exciting!’’ Louise said, sitting next to Jenny in front of Claire.

‘‘It is,’’ the editor lied, forcing her most natural smile. ‘‘I was not expecting that when Jamie and I decided to come, but I’m very happy.’’

‘‘I’m surprised my brother never told me about ye. I ken we havena spoken in awhile, but still I thought an engagement is something worth talking about.’’

Claire felt her cheeks turn pink. Of course, all this was a way for Jenny and Louise to learn more about Jamie’s engagement, and probably to bring to the light of day what was going on.

The waiter came back with their drinks and Claire took a long sip, thinking about what she was going to say to Jenny. ‘‘Well… At first, we had to keep it low-key because of our work. We are not allowed to date coworkers, especially with Jamie’s promotion coming, we really didn’t want him to lose it because we were together.’’

The answer convinced Louise who just smiled and took another sip from her juice, but she wasn’t sure it worked with Jenny.

‘‘And how did you two started to date?’’ Jenny asked.

‘‘Well…’’ Claire cleared her throat, trying to think of a story that would stick to the truth as much as possible. After all, maybe Jenny asked her brother the same question and would compare answers. ‘‘After working closely for five years, I realized that I had feelings for him… and he for me, so we just admitted to it and started a relationship.’’ Clearly, her glass face was betraying Claire.

‘‘When did it happen?’’ Jenny smiled encouragingly at her future sister in law.

‘‘Well… One late night… We were working on a book… and it just happened.’’

‘‘What happened?’’

‘‘You slept with him? At the office?’’ Louise asked with bright eyes, for the first time truly interested in their story.

‘‘Ah…’’ Claire chuckled awkwardly looking at Jamie’s sister. ‘‘Yes.’’ She said, finding confidence. ‘‘But not in the office… At my place. I asked him if he wanted to have a drink at my place… And we did it. We’ve been together ever since.’’ She cursed herself for not asking Jamie what story they would tell, but she felt confident with that one, because a situation like that had happened in real life with the two of them, a few months before the trip in Scotland.

They had been working all night over a book about time travel. They were both exhausted and tired of being on this project, but they really wanted to be done with it by the end of that night. It was almost three in the morning and Claire’s brain wasn’t functioning properly anymore. All the energy was drained from her body and it was also the anniversary of her parents’ death, making her feel terrible and completely alone, at least more than usual. She didn’t have anyone in her life. No friends, no lover, no family. Everybody had either died or left, all she had was her job and she held onto it like life.

She couldn’t ignore the fact that Jamie was incredibly sexy, good looking and he was very kind, which she found to be attractive, even under normal circumstances when she wasn’t about to fall asleep with her eyes opened and needed a warm body to remind her that she was still alive. But he was working for her and he was good, so good she was afraid he was going to do better than her and take her place.

That’s why she always acted like this with him, even if she hated herself at night for being so rough. Truth was, she never was rough before a few years prior to their meeting. After Claire’s parents died in a car accident, when she was still at university, it was like she had built a wall around her heart, protecting her from ever being hurt again. And it worked because she never did anything other than working, she never risked having her heart broken. When she met Jamie, she had felt like she could take him behind the high facades and he wouldn’t hurt her, but heal her. Of course, that was a stupid thought, because Jamie was just like all the others at work and didn’t like her at all even if she knew it was because she was hurting him.

But that night at the office, he had bent over her shoulder to look at her screen, stopping close to her head, brushing against her shoulder. She had turned to look at him only to find him already staring at her. His eyes were deep blue like an ocean and his mouth she thought looked delicious was open, inches from hers. It had only been for a short moment, but it had been enough to wake her entire body to him. She almost invited him home, after they were finally done with this book, but as always she had turned her back to him and left on her own.

When his grandmother forced them to kiss, finally letting her taste his beautiful mouth, she felt like she was back to that night in her office and wanted to have him more than anything in life.

‘‘Do you love him?’’ Jenny asked, so serious it broke Claire’s heart to lie to her.

‘‘I do.’’

***

When they came back to Lallybroch, Ellen was cutting vegetables in the kitchen for lunch. Claire went to see her with a smile at the sight of the red headed woman concentrated on her work. ‘‘Ellen! Do you need any help?’’ She asked and pointed to a carrot. ‘‘Can I have one?’’

‘‘Aye, ye can have one, but I dinna need help, thank ye. My dear, for the love o’ God, go in the shower! Ye stink!’’ She laughed.

‘‘That’s your daughter and your niece’s fault.’’ Claire smiled. ‘‘Where is Jamie?’’

‘‘He went out in the stables wi’ his father. Ye probably already know, but he is verra good wi’ the horses.’’

‘‘I didn’t know.’’ Claire said honestly, but finding herself curious about this aspect of Jamie’s life she didn’t know. Maybe it was her reader’s curiosity or something else, but since they arrived in Scotland, she couldn’t help but want to know everything about him and everything she learned made her like him even more.

‘‘When he lived here as a child, before moving to Boston with Murtagh, Willie was teaching him how to ride. The student became the master and at ten, Jamie was teaching children from the houses around here how to ride a mount. He’s very soft and calm...horses like that.’’

They chatted a bit before Ellen told Claire something that made her stomach twist. ‘‘Ye ken… Yer the first lass Jamie ever presented to me. In fact, yer the first lass he ever told me about.’’

After talking a little with Ellen, Claire walked to her room, taking her clothes off and jumping into the warm water of the shower with a deep sigh. Her tense muscles immediately relaxed and she thought that when she’d go back to Boston, she really should start training again. She stayed in the shower for a while, washing her hair and body. When she got out and dried, she thought she heard the sound of the door of the bedroom open. ‘‘Hello? Anybody?’’ She asked, but there was no answer. As she was about to dress, she realized that she had left her underwear in her suitcase, so she put her towel around her hair and walked out of the bathroom.

Jamie was standing there, naked as a worm, like her and they crashed against each other. Both surprised, they screamed when their bodies met and fell on the floor. Lifting her head from his bare chest, Claire looked at him with wild eyes, for a moment not understanding what was happening.

‘‘What the hell!’’ She exclaimed, rolling off him and running to hide behind the bed. She turned to see him stare at her in shock. ‘‘Don’t look at me!’’

‘‘Sorry!’’ He turned, giving her the perfect view of the most amazing round arse she had ever seen. ‘‘Hide yourself, Jamie!’’ She cried, trying to look away, but couldn’t.

He put a hand on his crotch and sat to hide as much as possible. ‘‘What the hell were you doing?’’

‘‘Showering, what do you think! Didn’t you hear the sound of the water?’’

‘‘Nae! Didn’t you hear me come in?’’

‘‘No! Go away, now!’’ She screamed and he got up and ran into the bathroom.

***

Claire was sipping her cocktail in front of the castle, looking at Young Jamie, Jenny’s son playing soccer with his sister Maggie. She couldn’t help but smile at them, all smiling and laughing when they kicked the ball. She always wanted to have children, but apparently, faith had something else in mind and it broke her heart everyday, especially as she grew older.

She sensed Jamie behind her before she actually heard him speak. “They are lovely, aren’t they?”

Turning around, she saw him standing on the steps to the house, a beer in hand. “They are.” She replied, feeling her cheeks turn red at the sight of him for the first time after they had seen each other naked.

He walked down the steps and came to stand next to her. “My sister hoped naming her son Jamie would make me come back in Scotland. Perhaps I should have.” He said shrugging. “Everything I have is here… In Boston… I have nothing but a job… And a dream I’m not really sure is worth fighting for anymore.”

“You’re thinking about staying here?” Claire asked, not knowing why her hands started shaking at the idea of never seeing him again, at the idea of losing him.

“I am. I think I need this.”

She sighted, showing off her madness. “Whatever you think is best.” Every damn time Claire felt something, every time she cared about someone who was going to leave her, she didn’t tell them to stay, she tried to look as she didn’t care which was part of the reason why those people did leave. “You’ve made it plain clear that you’re not happy working-”

“I never said that!”

“Well it meant the same.”

“Look, not because you’ve seen me naked you can-”

“Don’t talk about that!”

Jamie sighed and looked up to see that his mother and sister were looking at them from the kitchen window. “Look, my family will think we’re still angry. Come here.” He opened his arms and she reluctantly went into his embrace. “There…” He said softly, gently caressing her back. He let his hand fall south and gently grabbed her butt, pushing her against him.

“Take your hand off Fraser or I swear I’ll cut your balls off in your sleep.”

“Alright…” He said and took and step back. “Alright.”

***

That night, Claire was lying in the bed, looking at the shadows of the fire dancing on the ceiling. Jamie was still getting ready for bed, brushing his teeth while walking around the room, annoying her. ‘‘Go brush your teeth into the bathroom. It’s disgusting.’’

He sighed and did as she told him. She heard the sound of the running water as he rinsed his mouth and the sound of the door closing behind him. ‘‘Good night.’’ He said, while lying down on his sleeping spot at her feet.

She closed the light from the lamp on the nightstand and stayed a moment in silence. He wasn’t asleep yet, she could hear him turn around, trying to find a comfortable position. There were so many things she was dying to ask him. ‘‘Who’s Willie?’’ being one of them.

She heard him swallow hard and when he spoke, his voice was trembling. ‘‘Who told ye about him?’’

‘‘Your mother.’’ She almost whispered. ‘‘Who is he?’’

‘‘He is.. was my brother. He died when I was young.’’ Jamie said, his voice so full of emotion it broke her heart.

‘‘What happened to him?’’

‘‘I dinna wish to talk about that, if ye dinna mind.’’ Jamie said, rather dryly.

‘‘I’m sorry.’’

‘‘Ye couldn’t have know…’’ He said, his voice softer.

They stayed in a heavy silence for some time until Claire asked more questions. ‘‘And who is Murtagh? Your godfather you went to live with in Boston.’’

Jamie didn’t answer, making her understand he was not going to talk about himself tonight.

‘‘My parents died when I was twenty.’’ She started to tell him, looking at the ceiling to keep herself from crying. ‘‘In a car accident… The driver who hit them, he was high on drugs. They died instantly. I lived with my uncle Lamb after their deaths for six months until he died of complications of pneumonia.’’

He was not making any sound, listening deeply to every word she said.

‘‘He was the only family I had left. I’ve been on my own ever since.’’

‘‘Why are you telling me this?’’ Jamie asked, a moment later, after clearing his throat.

‘‘Because I’ve never told it to anyone before and I wanted you to know.’’

She heard his breath as he smiled.

‘‘I have a tattoo in the inside of my thigh. I did it when I was nineteen with a friend from school. We were both virgins and we terribly wanted to do it, but we were kind of losing hope we ever would. So we got a matching tattoo… It’s the chinese sign for ‘Faith’, faith that we would do it one day,’’ She said quickly.

Jamie chuckled, making Claire smile and her heart uncontrollably warm up in her chest at the sound of his laugh. ‘‘How long did it take for ye do it, after that?’’

‘‘Nine months and ten days.’’

‘‘I didna see it, earlier.’’

‘‘Well, it is wee.’’ Slowly, her smile disappeared.

‘‘When I saw that Joe wrote ‘The witch is on her broom’ when I was coming to work, I went to the toilet and cried for five minutes. I haven’t dated anyone since university and the last time I slept with a man… was… more than two years ago.” She said after a moment of hesitation to calculate.

She licked her lips, trying to hold her emotions. In a little more than ten years, since her parents’ passing, Claire had never talked about the things that were hurting her. Now the wall was starting to fall and she couldn’t handle the intensity of her feelings.

‘‘The first concert I went to was Stevie Nicks. I adored her as a teenager. I had a big crush on her.’’

‘‘I dinna ken her. What does she sing?’’ Jamie asked, with a lopsided smile.

‘‘You don’t know her? She was in Fleetwood Mac! You know… Rhiannon, Gypsy, Sara… Dreams?’’ Jamie didn’t answer so she started to sing. ‘‘You know ‘Dreams of loneliness like a heartbeat drives you mad / in the stillness of remembering what you had and what you lost-“

‘‘I know her.’’ Jamie said, a smile in his voice a moment later. ‘‘I just wanted to hear ye sing. ‘Thunder only happens when it’s raining / Players only love you when they’re playing ’’’

‘‘Say women they will come and they will go / When the rain washes you clean you’ll know / You will know, ohhhhh you’ll know,’’ They sang and Jamie tried the high pitched the lyrics, making Claire burst out in a laugh as he failed considerably.

‘‘Well done, Jamie.’’

‘‘It’s too high.’’

They both laughed until they had no more air to breathe. Laughing like that, talking about her feelings with Jamie and having someone listening to her, someone she cared about, made Claire’s heart feel lighter and she fell asleep with a smile on her face.


	4. What You Lost

‘‘Claire,’’ Jamie shook her sleeping body. ‘‘Wake up.’’ He shook her again, receiving no reaction from her, making him worry she might be dead. ‘‘Claire!’’ He said louder and her body spasmed lightly, but she was still very much asleep.

He went to open all the curtains, lighting up the room and making her groan in answer. 

‘‘Wake up, Beauchamp.’’

‘‘Wot?’’ She asked, turning on her belly, hiding her face with a pillow.

‘‘We’re going horse riding, remember?’’ 

She grunted, not making a move to get out of bed. Jamie sighed, exasperated and sat on the bed next to her. ‘‘What time is it?’’ She asked, her face buried in the pillow. 

‘‘It’s five thirty.’’ He said, looking at the clock on the wall.

‘‘Are you kidding me?” Claire grimaced, “ I’m not waking up at this hour. I go to sleep at this hour, sometimes.’’

‘‘We said we’d leave early!’’

‘‘Yes. Seven, eight is early. Not five.’’ She hid her face back in the pillow making Jamie roll his eyes. 

Jamie grunted and walked down the stairs were Ellen was sitting drinking her coffee while looking at her tablet. ‘‘Hey, laddie.’’ She smiled at the sight of her sleepy son. ‘‘Where’s your fiancée?’’

‘‘Asleep.’’ Jamie sighed and went to grab a cup to fill it with coffee. ‘‘She doesna want to get up before seven.’’ 

Ellen chuckled. ‘‘Weel… Give her time, she’s no use to living on a farm.’’ She said, making Jamie smile, but at the same time, his heart broke. He knew his mother was beyond happy to see him getting married. And it wasn’t exactly a lie, they were going to get married , but the lie was that they were not in love and it killed him to lie to his mother. 

‘‘She’s a nice lass. Very smart and very beautiful.’’

‘‘Aye, she is.’’ Jamie found himself smiling sheepishly thinking about all the things Claire had told him the previous night. And he was dying to see the tattoo on the inside of her thigh. 

‘‘I’m searching places where you could go on a honeymoon. Do ye like Inverness? It’s such a romantic city, I’m pretty sure ye’d like it. Much calmer than Boston.’’

‘‘Aye, we would love it.’’ He smiled, imagining Claire walking her hand in his by the River Ness, making love in the early hours of the morning in a Bed & Breakfast that smelled like coffee. Doing nothing but make love, eat and walk on repeat. Of course, this perfect dream would never happen. They’d get married and she’d go back to living in her apartment in Boston and he in his small studio. He found himself surprised to be sad that she wasn’t in love with him. 

‘‘Good morning.’’ They both looked up to see Claire walking down the stairs, the trace of her pillow creased on her face. Jamie couldn’t help but smile at the sight of her, his face lighting up as she walked past him on her way to the coffee machine. 

‘‘We were just looking for the perfect place for yer honeymoon. I thought Inverness was a nice place, but perhaps Skye is better for a young couple like ye. Ye could walk The Quiraing or The Old Man of Storr.’’

Claire smiled at her and her eyes met Jamie’s, her cheeks turning slightly pink at the thought of spending a romantic weekend with him. To her surprise, the thought was rather charming and made her belly warm up at the thought of them making love in a small cabin by the sea in front of a fireplace. 

They ate breakfast quickly, and Jamie packed a lunch, thenthey were on their way to the stables. ‘‘Have ye ever ridden a horse?’’ He asked her, opening the wooden door. 

‘‘A very long time ago. When I was in Ireland with my uncle. He taught me how on a horse named MacAllister.’’ She smiled and Jamie turned to look at her with a big grin on his face, making her feel butterflies in her stomach. Stop it, Beauchamp! She told herself over again for the fiftieth time since they arrived in Scotland three days earlier.

‘‘So, ye’ll have Brimstone.’’ Jamie smiled, pointing to a beautiful black mount. ‘‘She’s very nice and soft. Ye’ll like her.’’

‘‘And you?’’

‘‘Gideon. An old bastard,’’ Jamie chuckled.

It wasn’t easy for Claire at first, but as the hours went by, it was like she had done this her entire life. They mounted side by side, Jamie slowly starting to tell stories about his childhood around Lallybroch. They talked about many things but the wedding. The reception was in two days and all the Frasers and MacKenzies had been invited, a few friends of Jamie’s from school, but Claire had no family to invite. They were both very nervous, even if the wedding wouldn’t be official, there were many unanswered -and unasked- questions between the two of them, one being what would happen on their honeymoon, on their first night after the wedding in Lallybroch. 

‘‘You said that you haven’t had sex in more than two years.’’ Jamie said, as they were eating their lunch by a river. 

She rolled her eyes. ‘‘Don’t tell me that it’s all you remember from the things I’ve told you.’’

‘‘Nae,’’ He chuckled. ‘‘But it is a verra long time.’’

‘‘When was the last time you had sex?’’

Suddenly, he became very serious and his cheeks turned burning red. She couldn’t help but smirk. ‘‘That’s what I thought.’’

‘‘It’s all yer fault.’’ Jamie said, the corner of his mouth curling up.

‘‘What do you mean?” Claire said, insulted. ‘‘I have control on my sex life, you do what you want with yours.”

‘‘Ye make me work all the time, I dinna have time to see anyone.” Jamie said. It was true, but he was starting to think that maybe, deep down, it was because she was the only woman he fancied. 

‘‘Whatever,’’ She shrugged with a grin that was threatening to break on her face. 

They went on riding for hours into the forest surrounding Lallybroch. Jamie told Claire about the legend of a man called the Dunbonnet, a scottish rebel, living in these woods after the Battle of Culloden. 

At some point, it started getting dark and the wind rose. ‘‘Are we close to Lallybroch?” Claire asked. ‘‘I’m cold and hungry.”

‘‘Oh, aye.” Jamie said, sounding not convinced at all. 

Claire looked at him, following him with her eyes as he turned around with his horse, clearly trying to find the right path to go home.

‘‘Jamie, if you tell me that we are lost, I swear I’ll kill you.”

‘‘If ye do, ye’ll never get out of this wood and ye’ll never become an American citizen.”

‘‘We’re lost!” Claire sighed, trying to keep from panicking.

‘‘We’re not lost.”

Less than an hour after, they were camping under a tree, in front of a big fire. ‘‘It’s a windy night,’’ Jamie said, getting up, proud of the big fire he had just started. ‘‘but at least it’s no’ raining.”

‘‘Touch wood,” Claire smirked

Jamie chuckled and sat next to her on the Fraser tartan. ‘‘At least, we have whisky to keep us warm.” He said, handing her the bottle. She took it and drank a long sip, before giving it back to him and closing the tartan around her shoulder. ‘‘If ye’re cold… We can cuddle for warmth.”

 

‘‘I know. I’m fine, thank you.” She said, her chin resting on her knees. 

Jamie looked at how the shadows of the flames were dancing on her face. She was truly beautiful, natural with no makeup and her hair like a cloud around her face. 

‘‘I dinna mind, ye ken. Being lost in the woods.”

She chuckled. ‘‘I didn’t think you would.” Claire said, lifting an eyebrow in his direction, making him smile like an idiot. 

‘‘I mean before the wedding. It feels good to be… in the wild, with no one talking about the wedding. Like a breath of fresh air.” He shrugged before taking a sip of whisky. 

‘‘I’m so… stupid.” She said, some time later. ‘‘So, so stupid.”

‘‘Why?” Jamie asked, separating the piece of bread in two and handing one to her. They still had some cheese from lunch and a few fruits. 

‘‘I should never have done it. Pretend to marry you.” 

‘‘It’s never too late to turn around.” She looked at him and he held her stare, making her feel like he could see through her soul. 

‘‘I forgot what it was like to have a family.” She said, stretching her legs in front of her, wiggling her toes so the fire could heat them. ‘‘Your mother… Is so kind, I feel like she really likes me.”

 

‘‘She does.” Jamie said honestly. 

She swallowed, nodding and he could see that her eyes were tearing up. ‘‘And I’m lying to her… And I’m lying to myself. All these years, I pretended that I could go on in life on my own. I convinced myself that I didn’t need anyone. You know… Every year, on Christmas Eve, I empty a bottle of the finest wine I can find. Then I watch Home Alone 1 and 2 with chocolate. I fall asleep on the couch and wake up the next morning to a big hangover. Then I cook some chicken, sometimes a pizza and I eat it alone while watching Terminator 2, nothing related to Christmas.” At the end, a tear slipped from her eyes and streamed down her cheek. It broke Jamie’s heart to listen to her. 

‘‘The year my brother died, for Christmas we went at my Aunt Jocasta’s and we left around ten o’clock. We didn’t give any gifts. It was… so sad. It’s the last Christmas I spent at Lallybroch. When I moved to Boston with Murtagh, for Christmas we watched hockey and ordered a traditional meal from the restaurant down the street. The food was disgusting.” Jamie smiled sadly. ‘‘When I moved out from his place, we would spend Christmas in the local bar.”

Claire smiled, putting her hand on his arm. ‘‘It sucks. But I don’t understand why you didn’t come here, to be with your family.”

‘‘Ye didn’t want me to.” Jamie smirked, making Claire lose her smile and feel her heart heavy in her chest.

‘‘I’m so sorry, Jamie. I truly am a bitch.”

‘‘Nah. Ye’re alone and broken.” He looked at her and she lost it. She started sobbing uncontrollably. 

‘‘I am.” She said and he opened his arms to her. She buried her face in the crook of his neck, crying years of pain on loneliness. ‘‘I miss my parents so much.” She cried. ‘‘I wasn’t like that before they died. When they left me, I lost myself and I don’t like the person I’ve become.”

Jamie stroke her hair, whispering things in gaelic she didn’t understand, but made her feel comforted. ‘‘I didn’t really like ye, but since we arrived in Scotland, I like what I’ve discovered about ye.”

‘‘You don’t. I’m forcing you to marry me, Jamie. I’m a sadist.”

Jamie chuckled. ‘‘No, ye’re not.”

‘‘You’re sister, she hates me. She tried to humiliate me the other day and it worked.”

‘‘Jenny cast a very warm light on those that she trusts, and a very cold shadow on those she doesn’t. But with time, she will like ye, Claire.”

‘‘I don’t want to do this anymore.”

‘‘But you will.” Jamie ordered. ‘‘Ye can’t give up now. Ye met my family, they love you. We came to Scotland and we are going to get married and everything will be alright for both of us. We had a long day, we should sleep.”

Claire reluctantly parted from him and looked into his eyes. ‘‘Thank you so much. For everything, Jamie. I don’t deserve it.”

Jamie smiled and patted her arm. ‘‘Dinna fash.”

She looked into his eyes, at his handsome face and wanted nothing more than to kiss him, to have him take her here in the wild. ‘‘I’m cold.” She said.

‘‘Aye, ye’re shivering.” 

She lied down on the tartan and Jamie glued himself against her. With a sigh, she rested her head against his chest and fell asleep before she could even notice. Jamie, on the other hand, stayed awake longer. He wanted, he felt the need, to be strong for her. She was in his arms, vulnerable, and he needed to comfort her. He knew this intimacy they shared was due to the fact that they were far away from work, that they were in a little bubble in Scotland. He knew that the ‘honeymoon’ would be very short, so he wanted to appreciate every minute he spent with her.

***

‘‘Jesus!’’ Ellen swore when she saw them walk the path to the main gate of Lallybroch. ‘‘Brian! They’re here!’’ She screamed, to warn everyone who might’ve been looking for the couple. ‘‘What happened to you?’’

‘‘We got lost.” Claire said.

‘‘My sweet child, look at ye! Go take a bath immediately.” She didn’t need to be told twice, Claire entered the house in seconds. Ellen looked up to her son who probably hadn’t sleep all night. ‘‘Ye too!”

Claire and Jamie didn’t really see each other during the day. Jamie spent some time writing in the office while Claire took a nap in the Laird’s room. At dinner, Claire talked a lot with Ian, Jenny’s husband, who was genuinely smiling at her. Jamie, didn’t really speak, looking at his plate while Ellen was talking about how excited she was for the wedding. 

At night, Claire was already sitting in front of the fire in her pyjamas when Jamie walked into the room. ‘‘Where have you been?” She asked as he sat on the chair next to her.

‘‘I was writing.” He said. ‘‘Trying to.. steam off a little.” He smiled nervously. 

‘‘I’m terrified.”

He knew what she was talking about. The big day was tomorrow and both were very unsure about what they were about to do. ‘‘Me too.” Jamie said, getting up to the small bar. ‘‘Want a wee dram?”

‘‘Hell yes.” He came back with two glasses they clicked together before emptying them in one shot. ‘‘Another one?” Claire asked, lifting her glass.

They ended up drinking straight from the bottle, confessing their deepest fears about what was coming. ‘‘I feel like I will throw up.” Claire said. 

‘‘I’m feeling a wee bit dizzy myself.” Jamie chuckled. 

He felt her eyes intent on him the entire time they drank. He didn’t know whether it was the whisky talking or not, but he thought maybe she wanted him. He could see the way she was staring at his lips and kept batting her eyes as she looked at him. She probably wasn’t even aware of it, but it made his entire body come alive, thinking about that possibility. 

‘‘It’s getting rather late.” Jamie said, getting up to put the bottle of whisky in the bar. ‘‘Perhaps we should go to bed.”

‘‘To bed…” Claire trailed off. ‘‘Or to sleep?”

He froze and slowly turned towards her. She looked nervous, her eyes were shiny and her cheeks pink because of the whisky. ‘‘Well… What do ye want to do?” He asked, swallowing hard as she got up and started walking to him. She smiled shyly and put a hand on his chest.

‘‘That would be a big mistake.” She said in a low voice, looking at his neck. ‘‘But we’ll be wed tomorrow, so…” She lifted her head to see that his eyes were now so dark they were almost black. 

‘‘Aye.’ He said in a breath. 

‘‘When we kissed, the other day…” 

He nodded, slowly closing the distance between them. ‘‘I liked it very much.”

Her smile grew wider and she licked her lips. ‘‘Is that you talking or is it the whisky.”

As an answer, Jamie bent and put his hot mouth on hers, taking her by surprise. She melted into him, but didn’t deepen the kiss. He put his arms around her, folding her into his warm embrace. She closed her eyes, surrendering to the feeling of being home. 

When she broke the kiss, Claire looked at him a little breathless. ‘‘I want you.” She whispered. ‘‘Now.”

Nodding, Jamie took off his shirt and threw it on the floor. He was beautifully made, a strong chest dressed with little red hairs between his breasts. She touched him, feeling the hardness, but also the incredible softness of his body. He was strong, but not in the way he could break her, but in the way that he could heal her. 

Claire slowly lifted the top of her pyjama, revealing two white and smooth as velvet breasts. Jamie swallowed audibly at the sight, fighting to keep his hands from touching her and to keep his mouth from devouring her. She looked up at him, as if waiting for him to take the next step. So he did. 

He unzipped his jeans and slipped them off to his ankles. He straightened back and smiled as her eyes went wide open at the sight of him. Her amazement turned into a shy smile as she looked down at him. ‘‘You’re a real ginger, then.” 

It was a silly comment, but for whatever reason Jamie found it incredibly sexy. 

It was her turn to take off her pants and she kicked them away. They were both standing naked in front of each other, both wanting to say how beautiful the other looked, but not daring to cross that line. ‘‘You can touch me.” She finally said. 

Nodding, he reached for her breast and fondled it gently, making her breath short. ‘‘Take me to bed.’ She whispered and he took her words for granted. He lifted her in his arms, surprising her, and carried her all the way to the bed. He gently laid her on her back and climbed on top of her, kissing the valley between of breasts. ‘‘Jamie…” She sighed, grabbing a handful of curls in the back of his head. She forced him to the level of her face and kissed him toroughtly, her tongue seeking entrance in his mouth. 

They kissed, tasting and biting, their hands exploring until Claire looked up at him, her eyes filled with lust. ‘‘Do it now. And don’t be gentle.” She ordered and he took his cock and slid it into the warmth between her legs. They moaned, looking into each other’s wide eyes. Jamie started to move slowly, exploring and looking at her face as he moved into her. 

She didn’t want him to be gentle, so he wasn’t. He pinned her hands on top of her head and slid his fingers between hers. He caught her moans between his lips as he rocked his hips in and out of her. Claire crossed her legs around him, pushing him deeper into her. He looked at the sexy smirk on her face as she did and couldn’t help but capture it between his teeth. She moved her hips to meet him halfway, making him groan in her mouth. Their climaxes building, Jamie tried to keep his eyes open to look at her beautiful face, but the feeling was so empowering he couldn’t. 

‘‘Oh! God, Jamie.” She cried, grabbing his arse and pushing him into her. He thrusted one last time and he walls clenched around him. She cried out, making him spill himself into her and he graciously fell on top of her.

They didn’t move for a while, his head resting in the crook of her neck, listening to the sound of their heartbeat, feeling a drop of sweat running down his chest and falling between her breast. She sighed, caressing his back with her hand. 

After a while, he pulled out of her and lied next to her. She smiled at him, a smile so beautiful it made his heart burst in his chest. She closed her eyes and slowly fell asleep. Jamie kissed her lips, put a hand around her waist and joined her into oblivion.


	5. The Wedding

She was gone.

When Jamie rushed into their bedroom, he saw it. His mother’s dress on the bed with a wee note next to it.

It was over then. This crazy engagement story was over. She didn’t want to get married to him, so she had left. He should feel relieved, he knew he should, but still he heard the sound of his heart breaking when he read the letter. It was a small, clean sound, like the snapping of a flower’s stem.

I’m sorry, Jamie. Forgive me.

Clearing his throat, he sat on the bed they had made love in, the previous night and looked up, trying to hold the tears back.

***

12 hours earlier

Claire woke up with a big smile on her face and the weight of the giant scot laying next to her. His strong arms around her waist made her remember the previous night.

She slowly opened her eyes and her smile was gone. Lallybroch. The reality of her location reminded her of the situation and of the wedding.

She loved Jamie. It was simple like that. She was in love with him and their night together had broken the wall around her heart and she wasn’t afraid of admitting it to herself.

Claire looked up at him, his mouth curled up in his sleep and the warmth of his soft breath against her skin made her shiver slightly. His mop of fiery red hair was standing up in every direction, making her smile sheepishly at the sight. He was truly beautiful. She bent to put a small kiss on his lips and got up from the bed. She put on a satin dressing gown and went downstairs where Ellen was eating her breakfast with her daughter Jenny.

‘‘Good morning,’’ Claire said with a bright smile.

‘‘Well the bride is in a cheery mood, that’s a good sign.’’ Ellen smiled.

‘‘I’d be too, if I spent a night like she had.’’ Jenny said with a knowing grin at Claire. ‘‘We could hear you guys from across the hallway.’’

Her cheeks turned crimson red as she hid her face in her coffee mug.

‘‘Eat fast, my dear, we have sae many things to do for today!’’ Ellen exclaimed, putting a hand on Claire’s arm. ‘‘I’m sae happy for ye.’’

‘‘Good morning, ladies.,’’ Jamie said as he entered the kitchen. He shot a shy glance at Claire who smiled before looking down at her plate, her heart hammering in her chest.

Ellen got up to hug her son before telling the couple about everything they had planned for this day. ‘‘Jamie, ye’ll go to yer room to get dressed and I’ll help Claire in the Laird’s room. The guests arrive at one, but the ceremony is only starting at three, which will give ye more time to prepare.’’

After breakfast, Claire went into her room to shower. She came out sometimes later, a towel wrapped around her body. When she got out of the bathroom, Jenny was sitting on the bed in the middle of the room, looking around, scaring her. ‘‘Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, Jenny!’’ Claire exclaimed. ‘‘You scared the hell out of me.’’

‘‘I’m sorry. I didna wish to scare you.’’ She smiled, getting up. ‘‘I wanted to apologize. For the way I acted wi’ ye in Inverness.’’

Frowning, Claire nodded and shrugged. ‘‘It’s alright, don’t worry.’’

‘‘No, I mean it.’’ She said honestly, her cheeks slightly pink in shame. ‘‘I must say, I was surprised when I learned that ye and my brother were engaged. When you came to my grandmother’s party, I thought that you didn’t look like ye loved him. But it changed over the weekend. I’m happy for both of you.’’ Jenny said, taking Claire’s hand. ‘‘If you can make him happy, then that’s all that matters.’’

She felt her throat tighten when Jamie’s sister said, ‘‘I always wanted to have a sister.’’

Swallowing hard, she nodded with a smile and put her other hand on their linked hands. There was a soft knock at the door, interrupting them, and Ellen rushed into the room. ‘‘Jenny! There ye are! Can ye go help Ian wi’ the chairs, please?’’

‘‘Aye,’’ She said, looking into Claire’s whisky eyes one last time and exited the room.

Claire got dressed in her gown and let Ellen do her hair and makeup. “Ye have the most gorgeous eyes, Claire.” She remarqued with a smile. She stayed in silence as Jamie’s mother worked on her, looking up at the grey eyes of the lady and couldn’t help but feel a pinch in her stomach.

Feeling eyes on her, Ellen looked down at Claire with a smirk. ‘‘Dinna fash, sweetie, ye’ll be beautiful. I was the one to do the makeup for Jenny on her wedding day.’’

‘‘I trust you.’’

When she was done and let the future bride see herself in the mirror, she forced a smile as tears were threatening to stream down her face.

‘‘Ye like it?’’ Ellen asked from behind her, smiling with pride.

‘‘Yes, It’s beautiful. Thank you, Miss Fraser.’’

‘‘Call me Ellen, please.’’ Jamie’s mother smiled, patting her shoulder. There was a wee knock on the door and Jamie entered. ‘‘Jamie! Look at yer bride. Isn’t she pretty?’’

‘‘Aye, she is.’’ Jamie blushed, closing the door behind him. ‘‘Could ye please leave us alone for a moment?’’ He asked his mother who nodded and left saying she’d be back soon.

Jamie came to sit on the bed, looking down at his feet. Claire turned in her chair to look at him. Even if he was good at hiding his emotions, she could see something was bothering him. ‘‘Are you alright?’’ She asked him.

‘‘Aye. Are ye?’’ It was weird, that it was the first thing they told each other after the spending the night making love.

‘‘Yes.’’ Claire answered, before a heavy silence fell on the room. ‘‘You still want to do it?’’

‘‘Aye, I do…’’ Jamie answered, not convincing her. She felt her throat tighten, making it hard for her to swallow. The only sound in the room was coming from downstairs as everybody moved around the house to make sure everything would be alright.

‘‘Everybody is doing so much, I feel like…’’

‘‘Well, what were you expecting?’’ Jamie said, surprising her with the dryness in his voice. ‘‘It’s no’ what ye wanted? To marry me? There we are so it’s no’ time to change yer mind.’’ He said and got up. Walking to the door, he stopped and turn to her. ‘‘I’ll se ye at the altar.’’ Then he left the room.

Claire didn’t want to cry, especially after the hours Ellen spent working on her makeup, but Jamie’s tough attitude broke her heart. What could she expect from him? She was forcing him to marry her, she couldn’t force him to fall in love with her like she had.

‘‘Can I come in?’’ Ellen asked, opening a crack of the door.

‘‘Yes, please.’’ Claire said with a forced smile.

She was carrying a little pouch in her hands and she came to stand behind her. ‘‘I have a wee somethin’ for ye.’’ She said, her smile reaching her grey eyes. ‘‘It’s a wedding gift. And a way for me to welcome ye in the family.’’ Ellen opened the little bag, took a beautiful pearl necklace out and put it around Claire’s neck. ‘‘It was given to me on my wedding day. They’re scotch pearls. Very precious to me.’’

She smiled and sat in front of Claire, her hands framing her face. ‘‘I havena seen my son a lot since Willie died. I wasna a good mother to Jamie. After he and Robert died, I couldna bear being alive myself. I couldna take care of Jamie and his sister well. I ken ye ken all of that, I presume Jamie told it to ye, but… When Murtagh proposed to take him to America and Jamie agreed, I thought he’d come back when I’d be better… Truth is... it took me some time to be better and Jamie never came back.” Tears were streaming down on her cheeks and her voice was trembling as she spoke.“Ye ken how he is...He suffers in silence and never says a word about how he feels.. I knew he was in pain, when I asked him - begged him to come home to Scotland he had already made a life in Boston. I spent years mourning the death of my sons, when I had one healthy and alive who just wanted me to love him.’’

‘‘What I mean to say is… Jamie deserves to be happy. I havena been the perfect mother, but all I want in the world is my redhead son to be happy. If he chose you to be the one that would make him happy, then Claire, you have all my gratitude.’’ She said and kissed her cheek. ‘‘I’m sorry if I’ve been emotional,’’ she chuckled, wiping her tears with a tissue.

‘‘It’s alright…’’ was all that Claire could manage to say in a hoarse voice.

‘‘I’ll go get ready, while ye finish preparing yerself.’’ Ellen smiled and got up, gently stroking her future daughter in law’s cheek and left the room.

Suddenly there wasn’t enough air in the room. Heart hammering in her chest, Claire ran to the window and opened it, closing her eyes as the wind entered the room. Alright Beauchamp. Keep calm. She told herself over and over again as panic was creeping over her. She felt terrible, monstrous, shameful and completely self centered. Ellen’s word were echoing in her head. If he chose you to be the one that would make him happy, then Claire, you have all my gratitude.

He hadn’t, she had been the one to force him to marry her, lie to his family and now a fake wedding just because she didn’t want to lose her job. She had fallen in love with him, alright, but he hadn’t and now she was just about to screw up his life forever. His mother was right. Jamie deserved to be happy and she didn’t make him happy, he hated her.

But because she loved him, she had to let him go.

***

‘‘Jamie, laddie. I’m sae sorry for ye.’’ Ellen said, taking her son in her arms. They were sitting on the Laird’s room bed and he was holding Claire’s letter. ‘‘I dinna understand it!’’ She said, stroking his back in reassurance. He wasn’t crying, his face was blank as always, as he tried to hide his emotions.

He was wearing his Fraser kilt for the occasion, his curls that had been pulled back for the wedding where now falling over his eyes. They were both in the room, listening to the sounds downstairs of everyone wandering about, wondering what was happening with the wedding. Ellen looked up to see the pearls on the nightstand. There would be no wedding, after all.

***

Weeks went by without Jamie really noticing. Instead of going back to Boston, he sent in a letter of resignation and spent some needed time working in the farm with his father. It had been five years since his last vacations and more than ten years since his last time home.

Even if Claire wasn’t dead, he was mourning her. He was mourning the life they could’ve had together, but never would. She never left his mind and at night, the memories of her body moving against his, her odor still very present in the bed made him ache for her, and it haunted him.

He tried not to think about what she was doing, whether she was back in Boston or had gone back to England. Wherever she was, he didn’t want to think that she probably had already forgotten about him.

It was less than a month later that Jamie was sitting in the office, sipping his tea while reading a book when Ellen came to talk to him. ‘‘Hi, son,’’ She smiled, sitting next to him and put a hand on his leg. ‘‘How are ye?’’ She was no fool, she could see he was heartbroken and she hated Claire for that.

‘‘Good, thank ye.’’ He took off his glasses and looked up at her. ‘‘And ye?’’

‘‘I’m fine.’’ She smiled. ‘‘Did ye talk to her?’’

He knew she was talking about Claire, but he didn’t want to. His mother had begged him to call her and ask for an explanation. Ellen needed one, but Jamie didn’t . He knew fine well why she had left him at the altar. ‘‘No, and I said I didn’t need to.’’

‘‘But Jamie! Ye canna just let her fly away and forever mourn her without-’’

‘‘Mam… There’s something I need to tell ye…’’ He was done lying. It was toxic and he knew his mother would stop worrying once he told her the truth. He looked up at her and turned to face her. ‘‘Claire and I were engaged… But we werena in love… So to speak.’’

A shadow crossed Ellen’s face as her eyebrows frowned. ‘‘I dinna understand.’’

‘‘As ye ken… Claire is my boss. And she is English. An immigrant. Well, a few days before we came to Scotland, an agent came to see her to say that she was about to be sent back to England. So she said that we were engaged and since I was an American citizen, well… We would get married and she’d become an American citizen as well…’’

‘‘Alright… What’s wrong, then?’’ His mother asked, clearly confused.

‘‘We werena engaged for real. We werena even together. She just said this so she wouldn’t lose her job. I agreed to that in exchange that I am promoted to editor and have my books published.’’ He said, his cheeks turning red in shame.

‘‘I canna believe that!’’ Ellen said, her mouth hung open.

‘‘Aye… The engagement was real, but…’’

‘‘Christ, Jamie!’’ She said sometimes later. ‘‘I canna believe ye’d do such thing only for work.’’

He bent his head, looking down at his feet. ‘‘Were ye sleeping wi’ her?’’ She asked him and he shook his head, the tips of his ears turning pink at the memories from their night together flickering in his head. ‘‘Then why did ye agree?’’

‘‘I didn’t really have the choice.’’ He shrugged.

‘‘I’m… So that means that this was all… An act? What it was between the two of ye?’’

‘‘Well… Yes… Not entirely.’’ He said, so low she almost didn’t hear him. ‘‘I… I fell in love with her, Mam.’’ He looked up at the redheaded woman, his eyes watering at the thought of his lost love. ‘‘But she didna love me back. She only wanted to marry me for politics.’’

‘‘Why did she leave, then?’’ Ellen asked.

‘‘What?’’

‘‘If she didn’t care about ye, why did she leave ye at the altar?’’

‘‘Well… She’s human. She realized it was silly.’’

‘‘I dinna think so… Look, son. I dinna ken much about ye, really and clearly I didna ken what was going on between ye and Claire… But let me tell ye this… What it was between the two of ye… It wasn’t usual. It was different.’’

He knew it. He thought he had felt it, but he had been wrong. She had left him and broken his heart. ‘‘No… She didn’t love me, Mam.’’ He said, smiling softly at her.

‘‘Are ye sure?’’

‘‘Aye… We.. er… We slept together the night before the wedding. It was big mistake, she probably got scared, thinking I’d think she loved me…’’ He trailed off, his cheeks turning pink.

‘‘Look, Jamie… I canna say I’m an expert on the matter, but let me tell you that Claire loves ye. Aye, her eyes softened when she talked about ye or when I told stories of ye. I think it was me who sent her away… Before the wedding I gave her the pearl necklace and I said that I was glad you found someone to make ye happy… I think that she was scared ye werena in love with her…’’

Jamie looked up at her, hopeful. “Ye think?”

“Aye, Jamie. What ye and Claire have was special, let me tell ye that. It reminded me of your father and I.”

“What do I do?” He asked.

She smiled and him and five hours later, he was sitting on the train, so nervous his hands were sweaty.

He took a cab to Claire’s hotel. He had called Joe, asking him whether she still worked in Boston. She didn’t, so Jamie asked him if he could do some research. With a sigh, he had put him on hold and did as Jamie had asked. She had not been to Boston since they had left, went straight back to Oxford where she had started working as a translator. After talking to a few bosses, Jamie finally got the name of the hotel she was staying at.

It was raining hard when the driver left him on the street. There were lights coming from the second floor and Jamie looked at the window, where he saw the shadow of a curly haired woman walk past it.

He hesitated. He’d look like a fool if his mother had been wrong. But he didn’t care what he’d look like, it was worse to be left home with a broken heart thinking maybe she had been right.

He took a step forward and another until he opened the door of the hotel. “I’m here to see Miss Beauchamp.” He told the man behind the counter.

The hotel was an old house turned into some kind of bed & breakfast. Inside, facing the door was a big stairway, where the man pointed the direction to Claire’s room. “Second floor.”

Jamie nodded and climbed the stairs, his wet shoes leaving marks on the rugged floor. He was so nervous that he ran out of breath just by walking to this level. There was only one door on that floor and he could hear blues music come from behind it. The music he knew she liked to listen to.

Finding some courage somewhere inside him, he took a step forward and knocked at her door. He heard someone move inside, pause the music and then she opened the door.


	6. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas! (2 days late :$)  
> Here's the last chapter of Til Death Do Us Part and I’m actually sad that it’s already over, I had so much fun writing it and I hope you enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sticking around! It’s the first fanfic I finish so I hope the ending is satisfying!

They stood looking at each other in the door frame for minutes. Claire had a surprised look on her face, her hand holding the door to keep straight. ‘‘What are you doing here?’’ She finally asked. 

‘‘I came to see ye,’’ He whispered.

‘‘How did you find me?’’ She said, looking from his feet to his head. 

‘‘I called Joe from Boston and talked to… some people.’’

She nodded and didn’t say anything. ‘‘Well… Can I come in?’’ He asked.

‘‘Why are you here?’’ Claire asked, looking deep into his eyes. He saw it, then. The hope that he had come here to be with her, to tell her he loved her. 

‘‘I needed to talk to you.’’

 

‘‘About the wedding?’’

‘‘Just… Let me in, please!’’ He said, taking a deep breath. He couldn’t wait anymore.

Shrugging, she let him enter and closed the door behind him. It was a small hotel room with a small bed in the middle of the place, there was a small desk with her computer opened on it and at the end of the room was a door leading to a tiny kitchen. It was small, it was also so beige and so depressing. ‘‘Have ye been here long?’’ He asked, turning to face her.

‘‘A few weeks. You want to drink something?’’ She didn’t dare to look into his eyes, fearful that she would break down and tell him everything. 

‘‘No, it’s fine. Thanks.’’ He said and sat on the unmade bed. As he did, the springs squeaked loudly, surprising him. 

‘‘What did you want to talk about?’’ She asked, standing in front of him with arms crossed on her chest. ‘‘I’ve got work to do.’’

He looked up at her, his piercing blue eyes meeting sad whisky ones. ‘‘Alright, then. I’ll go straight at it. Why did you leave?’’

She sighed and went to sit on the chair of her desk. ‘‘Because it was silly.’’

‘‘Aye, it was and ye kent it right away when you forced me to marry ye.’’ His voice was starting to tremble uncontrollably. ‘‘Why did ye change yer mind once we were just about to get married, when everybody was here for the wedding, when my mother had made all these plans for us? What made ye change your mind?’’

She kept silent for a moment, her eyes looking at the pink socks on her feet. ‘‘I… Your mother talked to me. She said… You deserve someone better than me, Jamie. Someone that you love.’’

‘‘No’ someone who loves me?’’ He asked, making her look up at him. He had noticed then, that she hadn’t mentioned it before, hoping she wouldn’t have to say things she was scared of saying. 

She swallowed painfully and shrugged again. ‘‘Both…But if you don’t love the person who loves you… You can’t force it, you can’t force love and I realized that what we were about to do would probably follow us for the rest of our lives, so...’’ She trailed off. ‘‘It was a bad idea to begin with, I was stupid to involve you in this.’’

‘‘Do you regret it?’’ Jamie asked after a long moment of silence. ‘‘That night, before you left me…’’

 

‘‘Jamie…’’ She got up, her hand in her curly hair. ‘‘Stop talking about it. It’s over. You’re free, you don’t have to pity me, you can go on with your life and find someone that you love.’’

‘‘I have.’’ He said bluntly, his heart starting to hammer in his chest. 

She felt as if a bus had hit her, as if she was falling from the 18th floor of a building. She stopped dead and looked at him, her eyes blurred by tears threatening to stream on her face. She swallowed so hard he heard it, and it broke his heart to see her like that. ‘‘You did?’’ She said in a whisper. 

‘‘Aye. When we were in Lallybroch.’’

Her cheeks turned pink as she nodded, looking down at her feet. ‘‘Someone… Um… From your past?’’ She asked in a hoarse voice.

‘‘It was you.’’ He finally said. ‘‘Claire, don’t you see it?’’ He got up and walked to her. She looked up at him, tears streaming down on her face.

‘‘You could have said it earlier,’’ She said, surprising him. ‘‘Cut the corners, Christ, Jamie you scared the shit out of me.’’ She sighed and they kept silent for a while. She knew he was waiting for her to say something. ‘‘I thought you didn’t love me, that’s why I left. Because… I couldn’t bear the fact that you probably didn’t love me and that I’d be the one to make your life miserable if you married me.’’

‘‘Claire, I… I thought it was because of me, if you left. I wasna very nice wi’ ye… Before the wedding. I’m sorry, I was just angry because I thought you didn’t love me, and…’’

She shut him up, putting her lips on his. Surprised, Jamie froze, but then closed his eyes and put her arms around her. The kiss soon became hungry and Claire pushed Jamie towards the bed. He sat down and she straddled him, kissing and biting the skin of his neck. He moaned as she did, running his hands on her back. ‘‘That night we spent in Lallybroch… I dinna regret it.’’ He said in a breath.

Claire looked up at him and ran a hand in his red curls. ‘‘Me neither.’’ She smiled shyly and kissed his mouth. ‘‘I felt so alive. To be with you, during this entire weekend. When I left… I… I thought you had already forgot about me and it broke my heart.’’ Jamie kissed her hungrily, tasting her salty tears. 

‘‘I didn’t.’’ He said in a breath.

‘‘I want to feel alive with you. Right now.’’ She said, looking deep into his eyes.

Nodding, Jamie unzipped his pants and freed his now hard cock. Claire took off her pants in a clumsy move and grabbed him to guide him home. They both sighed when she pressed down on him. ‘‘I love you.’’ He kissed her and whispered against her lips.

Putting her arms around his neck, she pushed him against her and started moving her hips. His face against her breast, his kissed her skin, his hot breath making goosebumps rise on her skin as he sighed and moaned. She pulled his hair back, looking deep into his eyes. The corner of his mouth curled up, his eyes hooded as she placed a hand on his leg and rolled her hips for a deeper touch. 

Looking at her face, her eyes half closed and her lips parted with pleasure, he thought his heart was going to stop. He hungrily took her top off and kissed her perfectly round breasts. She moaned as he did, her grip of the curls on his nape tightening. He ran his hands down her back, his nails making every hair on her body stand up and her hips move faster. ‘‘Jamie…’’ She whispered.

‘‘Come for me,’’ He groaned, looking up at her face as she did. She cried out, her walls clenching around him as she came. ‘‘God… Claire…’’ He moaned and bucked his hips one last time and came with her. 

He rested his forehead on her shoulder, catching his breath. Her heart was beating fast against his chest and he gently bit her soft skin. She let out a long sigh and she looked up at him, her eyes filled with lust. He didn’t know for how long they kept staring at each other, but at some point, Claire bent down and put her lips on his and kissed him deeply.

***

‘‘Do you know if there is another guest under this room?’’ Jamie asked, some time later when they were lying in bed, completely naked.

‘‘I don’t know.’’ She smiled sheepishly at him. ‘‘Why?’’

‘‘The bed is very noisy. I think it’s even louder than ye.’’

Chuckling, she gently slapped his arm and put her head on his chest. They had made love again, slowly this time, looking deep into the other’s soul. They were still shy around the other, something strange but also comforting in this intimacy their shared. 

“Claire?” Jamie asked, tentatively running a hand up and down her naked back. 

“Yes?”

“I love you.” He said it so softly it broke her heart. 

“Me too, I love you, Jamie.” She looked up at him, her cheeks pink. “I want…” she trailed off and looked down. 

“What? Tell me.” It was his turn to sit and he lifted her chin, making her look into his deep blue eyes. 

“If you came here… that means that you want to be with me, right?”

“Aye.” The corner of his mouth curled up. “As crazy as it might be, yes. Why?”

“I want to go live in Scotland, with you. Maybe we could open something there. An edition house or a bookstore… something independent or something small, not like in Boston. We could have a house in the Highlands and we’d live there… Or we can buy a flat in Edinburgh and go to that house during the weekends… what do you say?”

His eyes were bright, his smile reaching his ears. “It’s all I ever dreamed off.”

***

Five years later

Brianna Ellen Fraser rushed into the wee store, calling after her mama. She found her in the botany aisle, of course, putting new books on the shelves. When she saw her, the little girl’s face lit up and she bumped into her mother, pulling her into a tight hug.

“Oh! Hallo, Bree,” Claire kneeled down and hugged her daughter. “How was your first day of kindergarten, darling?”

Brianna pulled back and looked at her mother with a bright smile. “Amazing!” 

Jamie appeared behind their daughter, her pink backpack on his shoulder and he smiled at Claire. “They already all love Brianna,” he smiled proudly. “They said she had a positive attitude and helped them prepare the lunch.” Jamie put a hand on his daughter’s red curls, just like his and bent to kiss Claire. “You’ve ordered new botany books?” His wife got up, holding Brianna’s hand and shrugged. “It’s no’ really the season for plants and flowers, ye ken?”

“Aye,” she teased him and they started walking to the reception of the store. “Let me pack my things and we can go home, your Da’s prepared your favourite meal.” She smiled at Bree.

“Pizza?” The little girl’s face lit up. 

“What else?” Jamie said, lifting her in his arms and waited until Claire closed the store and went out. While she locked the door, he couldn’t help but smile proudly at this little indie bookstore they had started a few years ago. Beauchamp & Fraser’s Bookstore. With Brianna in his arms and Claire by his side, they walked to the door right next to the one leading to their bookstore. Jamie held the door open for Claire. 

“Ladies first,” he smirked.

“Ladies first or is this just an excuse to look at my bum while I climb the stairs?”

He grinned and walked behind her, looking at her perfect round arse. “Both.”

Once they were home, in the little apartment they rented on the second floor on top of their bookstore, Jamie let Brianna down who rushed in her bedroom to get Scott, her stuffed rabbit. The one she had cried for fifteen minutes before leaving for kindergarten that morning because she wanted to bring him with her. 

“Go wash your hands, darling,” Claire said taking her shoes off and walking to the kitchen. Jamie stopped her with a hand on her arm and pulled her against his chest. Surprised, Claire looked up at him with a smile as his hands made their way down her back to fondle her arse. 

“Jamie!” Claire exclaimed. “Not it front of Bree.”

Chuckling, Jamie kissed her tenderly, pushing her against him. He sighed, his hips bucking up against Claire, showing her he was ready for more. “Brianna is probably verra tired after her first day away from home,” he whispered in her ear, making the hair on her neck stand up. “What do ye say if we eat, bathe her and immediately put her to sleep?”

“I say that I don’t think she’ll agree.” She smiled, putting her arms around his neck. “She’s a lot like you… Strong headed.”

“Like her mother too,” he smiled and bit her lower lip, making Claire moan in his mouth.

“Ew!” 

They turned around to see their daughter looking at them with a disapproving look. 

“Sorry,” Claire said, letting go of Jamie’s embrace and walking to the kitchen. 

Running to her father, Brianna jumped in his arms and he walked her to the dining room. “Oh, my Ma called earlier,” Jamie said to Claire. “She is coming in town this weekend, she’s going to see a play with my father. She asked if they could spend the night here. I think she’s missing her wee Brianna,” Jamie smiled, gently pinching his daughter’s cheek, making her smile wildly and chuckle. His heart grew warmer in his chest at the sight of his beautiful daughter. It was true that she looked just like him. She had his slanted dark blue eyes and his red curls, even if they were wilder than his, like Claire’s. Everyone said she was the copy of Jamie, but everytime he looked at her and she smiled, he saw Claire. Maybe it wasn’t apparent for strangers or family members, but for him, who spent his days and nights reminiscing her face, she was like her mother.

“Dinner’s ready,” Claire put two plates on the table and Jamie went to grab the other one with the bottle of water.

While they ate, Claire told Brianna about the new books for kids they had just received and asked her if she wanted to read one. Before she started kindergarten, Brianna spent all her days in her parents’ bookstore. Either playing with Scott or sleeping while they worked, either helping them to put books on the shelves. Most of the time she put them at the wrong place, but she was so happy to help them that they didn’t mind at all.

Her mother asked Brianna about her day, if she had made friends. Of course she had already made friends, she was such a social kid and Jamie really wondered who she got that from. Probably from her Auntie Jenny, he thought with a smile. 

Jamie and Claire didn’t even have to ask Bree to go to sleep, right after her bath, Claire walked into her room for the storytime and she was already asleep on top of her bed. She lifted her up and put her under the covers, kissing her forehead, her hand in her daughter’s fiery head. She stayed a moment besides her, looking at the freckles on her nose and at her mouth curled up in her sleep. “God, you’re so like him,” Claire smiled, kissing her daughter one last time before closing the light on the nightstand and walking out of the room.

She found her husband in the living room, looking at the sky, a cup of tea in hand. He didn’t hear her come, but simply melt into her when she put her arms around his waist and looked by the window from his shoulder. “She’s already asleep,” She smiled, nuzzling his neck. 

“I told ye,” he chuckled and put a hand on Claire’s. 

They stayed a moment in silence, Claire looking at him. He seemed lost in his thought. “What are you thinking about?” she asked him.

“I’m just thinking about how lucky I am. This… This life we have, it’s all I ever dreamed of. He put the cup on coffee table and turned to put his arms around her. “I have a beautiful, kind, supportive wife,” he smiled and kissed her briefly, making her cheeks turn pink. “I have a beautiful, witty daughter,” the corner of his mouth proudly curled up, making her belly tighten. “I have my book published, and another coming out too and we have the bookstore. It’s like a fairytale.” He smiled.

“I’m glad to know you’re happy,” she sighed and let her head rest on his chest.

“Aye, verra happy. Are ye?”

“Yes.” She kissed him tenderly, a kiss full of promises for the future. “I just need you and Bree.” 

“Me too, Sassenach,” he smiled and held her for a while, listening to the sound of their beating hearts.


End file.
